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Ongoing GTA 6 leaks might be the biggest gaming news story happening right now, but there’s something much more important to discuss: Zork. We finally know what From Software’s new Switch 2 exclusive, The Duskbloods, actually is, and among the many details we’ve gotten is a reveal of some of the game’s playable characters, known as Bloodsworn. One, in particular, stands out. I’ll let you take a guess who:
The Duskbloods’ Bloodsworn lineup for the network test
That’s Zork on the right, a man in an exceedingly pear-like diving suit who wields a hunk of undersea cable as a weapon. He can also howl, fire a cannon carried on his back, and launch his entire body at enemies, which can actually knock enemy players off the map in the ultimate form of humiliation.
Despite loving lil’ weirdos, in using character creators, I often fall short of making something interesting; my Commander Shepard’s not so different from the one on the front of the box. And, so often, premade characters in games are basically white bread–acceptable in their generic, mass-appeal kind of way. So to see Zork, who

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